Dracula, misting out of his dirt box: Finally! Time to enjoy this seafood buffet–
The Captain: I see you’re new to the operation.
Dracula: …You’re surprisingly, unappetizingly calm about a living corpse man leaking out of a box.
The Captain: Mm.
Dracula: To drink people.
The Captain, checking his watch: Mm.
Dracula: Well, you’re boring me. Point me towards your underlings so I can get on with my meal. As payment you can die overboard.
The Captain: Ah, very new to the operation. There is no crew that you’ll find aboard this vessel.
Dracula: I can smell blood enough to call you a liar.
The Captain: It’s no lie. You will find no crew here no matter how you search. Sniff them out, chase shadows, run laps around the deck. They’ll be there, but never found. Plenty of fog, though. You should feel quite in your element. If a bit peckish.
Dracula, about to chomp the good (?) captain: Not when you are in reach.
Captain Peter Lukas, dissolving into vapor before the Count can get a bite in: I do hope you enjoy the cruise. It’ll be longer than you think.